K. Michele CAN'T DO THIS

MUSIC  has always been my escape so in light of all the bullsyht i went thru in 2012 listening to music and enjoying it has brought safely into 2013 with a smile on my face BUT TONIGHT this song "i just cant do this by k.michele has given me life & life more abundantly THIS HEFFA SAID " I WAS THE HAND, U WERE THE GLOVE , TELL ME WHAT DID U DO WITH THE MAN THAT I LOVE, USE TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I COULD FLY, NOW ALL I WANNA DO IS LAY DOWN AND DIE' AMEN AMEN AMEN  ...the smile was short lived, MUTHA FUCKERS ARE SERIOUSLY CRAZY ESP THE WOMEN IN MY LIFE ... i was so BLESSED to become a mother in 2012 and its my best accomplisment so far, my daughter who now with some weight gain, the spitting image of her beautiful mother ....she's mending the broken pieces of my heart, she's the only thing holding me together, moving me forward and giving off the engery and love i need to survive ..............now as for her father Well thats something totally different in every aspect, no man other than my own father has brought me to such dark places, constantly telling me one thing and living another, dismissing my ass at 5months pregnant, continuing to criticize my every action all while never wanting to be judged for anything, never an apology, always an excuse for behavior or a reaction from whatever i've done ...i just cant seem to figure out if im ever gonna get what i feel i deserve form someone who claims to love me, for once i need at least one person who says they love me TO FUCKING ACT LIKE IT, HELL DONT EVER SAY IT JUST SHOW ME AND IM FINE, im so ready to take my lil blessing to an undisclosed location and live life away from any and every person i've ever known ..just me & my blessing starting fresh and new and having the luxury of not dealing with all this foolish ass ppl ...it troubles me becuz every woman in my life except one thinks tht i should just deal with whatever this mf decides to dish out, its clear to me that men have hurt and tarnished these women to a point of no return for them to even suggest that i just look over the hurt & pain of everything without even a half ass apology or fuck that just some real life acknowledgement that the shyt even ever happened but no everyone is either sure i'll never find the love I REQUIRE or they are so bitter within themselves that they didnt just deal with the bs and make it work for themselves, either way im not fucking going - i always forgive, i alway have to let go, i always look over bring treated like shyt from ppl tryna be the "good' person well fuck that & them not in 2013 ...I seriously pray my daughter isnt treated like i was ever from any of the ppl in my life, i would give these ppl my heart out my chest if they needed it but there is not a soul around that feel that way about me and its time for me to not give a fuck anymore, my heart cannot be broken if i refuse to have one but becuz i have a daughter i have to have a heart, an esp big heart becuz shes gonna need me ....im over the fake bull, the back & forth ....my entire life is about my baby and i truly dont give a flying fuck about anybody or anything else!!!! now back to my jams as i fold my lil ones close and plan our escape route

Self evaluation

I make mistakes, I say & sometimes do the wrong thing......im praying my mistakes are forgiven and that u see i recognize the error of my ways, its always been difficult for the both of us and together im certain we'll make sure that this will discontinue with our seed.....im hoping were still on the same page, still progressing towards being a family, the fear of being content apart troubles me, but pretending wouldnt benefit us either....idk jus expressing thoughts as i lay here, feeling my tummy move, wiping my runny nose and tryna breathe .....missin u like crazy & believing your doing the same

TIME DOESNT STOP

Sooooo here we are at the climax of 2011, cant really say if i had a good or bad year, ima say it was life changing, changed my circle of ppl i trust drastically, feeling ok about it, finally took the steps to move and reinvent my life, hasnt went quite how i presumed, started this year in LOVE and babyyyyyy u couldnt tell me i wouldnt be come the end of this year, my relationship with my ex was a decade long friendship that grew into something more......or so i thought, its interesting to find out how ppl allow certain spands of time to be filled wit ppl they never fully intend to commit to, and maybe im wrong maybe the love was mutual HA its laughable to think so, but in the end i enjoyed my time spent whether it was true or falsy. I ended thing becuz for some reason even though everyone around seems to disagree I ACTUALLY STILL BELIEVE that u can find a person who loves u just as much as u love them..........im hoping after im through with myself, Mr. right will come along, im making 2012 my year, i really have been inspired and want to change soooo many things in this new year, beginning with my inner being and then working on my outside as well, with god's help im sure i can attain all my goals, well enough rambling for now ;-)

basketball wives

omg THIS SHOW REALLY AND TRULY SUCKS it seems evident that ppl fail to realize how foolish u look on tv when your a liar and a real bitch .............now the show seemed as if it was gonna be positive and show u the hard lives basketball wives have , with being a wife, mother, and still findind time to be themselves all while under the scrutiny of the public eye .........BUT NO the show is follows a bunch of jump offs and one wife who's husband should have seriously stayed a jumpoff with the way they treat and talk to and about each other !!!!! the character i actually like is the one that everyone seems to have a problem with ROYCE now while she may be a lil wild she is comfortable in her own skin not living her life according to blogs and what other socialites have to say, these other women kill me trying to tell a grown woman she cant do the things she wantss because it hurts them HOW EXACTLY DOES HER SHAKIN HER ASS HURT U .....but while she's doing that your getting wasted while wearing a string bikini (gloria) yea your so much more classier NOT lbvs I feel like these women are a waste of perfectly good tv time this show is pointless and i just wish some real wives with real lives and real issues could get a show cuz them girls are a total waste SHAUNIE NEEDS HER ASS WHOOPED FOR EVEN PUTTING THE TRASH TOGETHER thats all for now SIGNED MISS NO REGRETS !!!!! XOXO

first thing first LOVE -MY FIRST TOPIC

WELL HELLO FELLOW BLOGGERS AND PPL WHO JUST WANNA READ .....THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME ....I have less than 2 weeks till my 25th birthday and alots been on my mind so i decided the way to express all my feelings was to create this blog if no one but me enjoys reading it that perfect fine it just feels good to get things out u no SO HERE GOES .....

My love life has always been somewhat no existant and on the eve of making a quarter of a century it has really began to bother me, now dont get me wrong i've always had a boo or a cuddy buddy or someone i was interested in but i've never had a true genuine relationship not the one in the movies but the general hi ....this is my boyfriend ____nope neva had that even with the first guy i loved yea he says we were together and i was his girlfriend and f course i believed that as well but there was never any actual discussion and any particular day where we decided that we were a couple so i believe that whole 3 years plus doesnt even count .......He was in all honesty the only guy i have ever loved tho which brings me to where i am with this love life situation. I really wanna find someone but I feel like it wont ever happen again this guy was the one for me in every aspect but he just wouldnt commit or give me the type of love I needed or hell even deserved. I'm now watching as my closet love challenged friends are entering into long term relationships, the friends that swore off kids are popping out babies , it seems as if everyones lives are evolving and im at a stand still why is that. Im a good person i've tried to do so many things and treated eople relatively well for the most part lol so what is the problem i recently did something rather disturbing to even prove to myslef i was over my ex. All my life i've been kinda none rebellious and unadventurous when it came to men and being casual. At the begging of 2010 I decided i was no longer gonna do that so I became my version of promiscuous (but hey i still wont ever beat some of my homies lol) and in doing so I found that has'nt brought me comfort either I seriously think I was designed too be in a relationship. Im hoping that soon I will find someone who has the mind set im looking for and the time to grow with a pperson as complex as me. Until then I be writing in my blog but not always about me about everything from the reality shows im addicted too to the things I see everyday on the streets AND MOST CERTAINLY ABOUT MUSIC BECAUSE I LOVE MUSIC MORE THAN ANYTHING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well thats it for now ....yeah my first blog is complete ..hope u enjoy ...signed Miss No Regrets